Dele Alli has discussed his various traumas throughout his life in a heartbreaking interview.
The 27-year-old has returned to England following a loan spell in Turkey from Everton with Besiktas.
Speaking to Gary Neville on The Overlap, Dele spoke at length about the many hardships he’s had to battle.
“I got addicted to sleeping tablets, it’s a problem not only I have – it’s going around more than people realise in football,” he said.
“Now is probably the right time to tell people. It’s tough to talk about it as it’s quite recent and something I’ve hid for a long time and I’m scared to talk about.
“When I came back from Turkey, I came back and found out I needed an operation.
“I was in a bad place mentally. I decided to go to a modern rehab facility that deals with addiction and mental health and trauma. I felt it was time for me. You can’t be told to go there, you have to make the decision yourself.
“I was in a bad cycle. I was relying on things that were doing me harm. I was waking up every day, winning the fight going into training every day smiling – willing to show I was happy.
“Inside I was losing the battle and it was time to change. When I was told I needed surgery I could feel the feelings I had when the cycle began.
“So I went there for six weeks. Everton were amazing and supported I will be grateful to them for ever. For them to be so honest and understanding I couldn’t ask for anything more during a time I was making the biggest decision of my life – doing something I was scared to do. I’m happy I’ve done it.
“There is a stigma around it and it’s something people don’t want to do. Going into rehab is scary but I could never have imagined how much I would get from it.
“I was in a bad place. A lot happened to me when I was younger that I couldn’t understand and I was doing stupid things that I blame myself for. Going there and learning about it, it was never really under my control.
“Understanding learning it has helped. I let go of some bad feelings I was holding which was slowing me down.”
Dele then opened up publicly for the first time about the traumas of his childhood, including being sexually abused by his biological mother’s friend.
“It [his childhood] something I haven’t really spoken about that much, to be honest. I mean, I think there were a few incidents that could give you kind of a brief understanding,” he said.
“So, at six, I was molested by my mum’s friend, who was at the house a lot. My mum was an alcoholic, and that happened at six. I was sent to Africa to learn discipline, and then I was sent back.
“At seven, I started smoking. Eight, I started dealing drugs. An older person told me that they wouldn’t stop a kid on a bike, so I rode around with my football, and then underneath I’d have the drugs, that was eight. 11, I was hung off a bridge by a guy from the next estate, a man.
“12, I was adopted and from then, it was like…I was adopted by an amazing family like I said, I couldn’t have asked for better people to do what they’d done for me. If God created people, it was them.
“They were amazing, and they’ve helped me a lot, and that was another thing, you know, when I started living with them, it was hard for me to really open up to them, because I felt within myself, it was easy to get rid of me again. I tried to be the best kid I could be for them. I stayed with them from 12, and then started playing first-team, professionally, at 16. It all sort of took off from there.”